I feel really good these days. Some good things are happening to me at the same time. It’s like I’m finally getting used to living here. Well, I can’t say I’m completely ok and everything’s fine. There’s still a lot more to do. But when I compare these days to the first days, I can see a huge difference, and that’s actually what drives me.
Why do I feel good? There are plenty of reasons. We can go through them one by one!
I suffer much less from social anxiety. It’s easier for me to approach people and talk to them now. It’s still not trivial though. It demands much mental effort from me, but it’s a lot easier than the first days. I see that most of the people are not racist and don’t judge me based on my appearance. I see that some people are open to making new friends in some social settings, and all it requires to make friends with them is to have an open body language, smiling, and starting the conversation. Also, I finally made friends with the bachelor’s students I used to see everyday at the department’s study room. I even went to Mensa with them for lunch. All of it started just by having some small talks with them. Before having these small talks, things were getting more and more weird: making random eye contact with them and not saying a single word, seeing each other every time while smoking and not saying a single word, etc.
The other reason is that I finally found a job as a research assistant. I’m so motivated for it because the subject is so exciting to me. It’s about Hypervisor security on ARM processors. Both of the Hypervisor’s internals and ARM processors are unknown and interesting to me. Also, I got my first task yesterday and think it’s totally doable. So, if I manage to do it well, they’ll have a perfect first impression from me.
And here comes the third reason. A few hours ago, I took part in the university’s team selection contest for NWERC. It’s an ICPC regional contest between the North Western Europian countries. I lost too much time on the first problem of the contest and completely lost myself after seeing everyone had solved it earlier than me. But I managed to continue the contest with a good performance and rank first among all the participants. So, I got selected and now I’ll participate in NWERC at Delft and in the Euro Championship at Porto. I’m so excited for these competitions. I’m not sure if we’ll get admitted to the World Finals or not, but if somehow we manage to do so, I’ll have ICPC World Finals in my CV which is a good thing I suppose.
There’s also my German skills. Well, I’ve already talked a lot about it. I do a lot less Duolingo than before though. Now, most of my German training is done by listening to some German songs, podcasts, and talking to my flatmates. My flatmates encourage me so much. I really like it.
No need to say, my workout plan also makes me feel so good. I’ve already wrote about it, and will write more in the next post. So, I’m not going to go through it now. But that’s also something that has a big role in the quality of my life. My sensible progress in it and how it’s become part of my daily routine are the things that I like about it.
These were the main reasons for my happiness. So, here’s a summary and generalization of these reasons: The general reason I feel good is that some good things have happened to me in a short duration. But that’s not only limited to that. Another general reason is that I’m getting to know how things (including but not limited to people and social relations) work in here. It seems like it was all about not fussing, trusting the process, and being patient.
Why did I say “it was“? It still is. I still have to be patient and keep trying. It’s likely that I crash at some point and say “fuck this I’m out”. But I don’t know. For now, I’m in the mood to continue. I’m pretty sure if it was Majid from 4-5 years ago in such a situation, he would’ve broken down and given up by now. So yeah. I’ll continue and wait for the good news in the next episodes. It’s so exciting to make your life from scratch after all.
P.S. The post title is taken from a German song from BRKN, named Ein Zimmer. I like the song. The sentence means “But believe me baby, I’ll make it some day”.
Keep on trucking! 💪^^