Some days ago, I faced a challenge. I reached out to my old friends to seek support. When I told them I need to talk and I need help, they were very happy and excited to help. But when I started to explain my problem, they could not understand me at all. One of them, who even is a therapist, tried to invalidate my problem. It neither helped me to solve my problem, nor to feel understood. Instead, it made me feel alone.
Now, I’m wondering how people can get lonelier and lonelier as they try to go their own way and get far from being an ordinary person. Before I explain more, I have to admit I’m not sure if this feeling is true or it’s just because my brain is foggy as always.
Consider an ordinary person. He does his ordinary job, has his ordinary family, enjoys his ordinary hobbies, etc. He is almost like every other person, becasue almost everyone has an ordinary life. Other people can understand his problems well, and he can understand other people’s problems, because the styles of their lives are quite similar.
But as soon as he starts to go his own way, not the regular/predefined ways that most of the people go, there will be fewer similar people around him. He will have less people around him, facing the same challenges. What it means is that he can’t easily find someone that gives him the feeling of being completely understood.
It makes me wonder how actully great leaders in the history felt. By leader, I don’t necessarily mean political leaders. I also mean someone who was a leading person in his own area of expertise. Did they also feel alone?