I was thinking about my friends that I always thought were extremely smart and had a very good progress and a lot of achievements in every single matter of their career. Not only them, but a lot of the students, especially the ones going to the same university as me and were less smart and hard-working than me, and now have achieved some things that I wanted but couldn’t achieve. It’s really a stressful thing to think about. Sometimes I open Instagram to view their posts and stories; It just makes me a lot angrier with myself. I just keep thinking what I did wrong that I don’t have what they have right now, sometimes finding a reason, sometimes not a single one, not even a clue.
Some days ago, I talked about it to one of my friends. He pointed it out that whatever we do, the effect of our family’s status is inevitable. Fortunately, he was one of my friends at the university and knew the people that I follow in Instagram. I mentioned some of those people that I think are unfairly successful and because of his knowledge from their families, I found out almost all of them had an extremely rich and highly placed family. Not that they have nothing by themselves and all they have achieved are the result of their family’s wealth and position, I was just ignorant of this fact and their stories started to make more sense after considering it.
First reaction? “Shit! That’s unfair!”
Second reaction? “Okay we all know it’s not supposed to be fair. But let’s think about the situations where I could achieve something if I had a wealthier or more educated family.” (Of course, don’t mention the private ones Majid! Random people can read this post.)
Hmmm… Starting from a simple one in high school, after I achieved Silver Medal in INOI, I had the opportunity to change my school and study at AE High School which had much better olympiad teachers. But it was an expensive school. I didn’t even dare to suggest it to my father. Not that my family is poor! I remember some of my friends that were accepted at the entrance exam of my high school but decided not to study at it because of its high tuition fee. Let’s just assume that my high school’s tuition fee was mid-range and AE high school was the rich people’s school. :))
What else? I remember that until the third grade my mother helped me with my courses a lot, but she stopped to help in some courses after the fourth grade, and after entering the high school she didn’t have a single clue about my courses. On the other hand, my father was working all the time. I was lucky to have two bigger educated brothers that sometimes bothered to help me. Maybe I could progress better if my parents’ support in my education lasted a little more.
There are a lot of other matters I can think of. But after spending all of my life like this, I can’t even ask for a favor from my family. Not in all matters, of course I ask my mother to put my clothes to the washing machine and ask my father to repair the car, but they are either helpless in most of my current problems or can be helpful but I’m trained not to rely on them in such situations. (e.g. entertainment or financial problems)
Anyway! After that conversation, I started to compare myself to other fellas in high school and middle school. I noticed I don’t feel the same way that I did about those rich friends about them. There’s a meaningful difference between the most successful one of the high school’s people and most miserable one of the people with a rich family. The effect of family is unbelievably bold.
All in all, what I’m most thinking about is whether my children will feel like me or they will become like the university’s people. If I stay in Iran and continue my current path, I hardly can think they will feel better than me. If I won’t be in Iran and continue that path, it’s more believable. At least I can see a course of hope!