Some random hacker had penetrated the services of my VPS provider and encrypted the file system of all of the servers. I lost my previous posts, and it took too long from me to find time to setup my blog again. Anyway, here I am. I’ll try to write more than before to improve my writing skill, but can’t promise. Let’s just see what will happen in the next days.
As a brief overview of my current life, I have to say it really sucks. Continue to read if you want to know more details, but beware that there will be only complains about my current circumstances.
I’m waiting to receive my U.S. F-1 visa and start my Ph.D. program. However, for some unknown (or known?) reason, U.S. embassies have stopped issuing visas for Iranian Students. At the moment of writing this blog post, it’s been 3 months and 21 days that I’m waiting. There’s no news from any student receiving visa. I have no idea when this tragedy is going to end. I have no idea if deferring my studies for another semester will be enough or not, and if my advisors will accept my request for deferment.
This uncertainty has really made me sick. Sometimes I feel pain in my chest. I even don’t have enough energy to go and visit a physician. I have no idea how much longer I’m gonna work in my current company. I don’t know if I can start some long-term projects or I should avoid doing so because my visa will be issued soon and there will be no one to continue those projects.
I don’t have any energy to stop smoking, and I’m smoking even more than before. I’m a lot more fragile. The behavior of my friends easily makes me angry or sad. Obviously, it’s not their behavior that has changed, but it’s me.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting or anyone else would be like this if they were me. It doesn’t matter. In these days, I’m thinking about the absurdity of the world and how much it is out of my control. My future can be easily manipulated by some random politicians who even don’t know me. I’m “just some random Iranian” who should wait for his visa as long as “we” prefer. Isn’t it really absurd? Just like a small ant crushing under the feet of a random human.
Anyway, I just hope that something good will happen soon and I’ll be happy. If it didn’t happen, it doesn’t matter. I have no way but to complain like this and wait more. :))