I had a German exam today. The grammar part went good, but I messed up in the listening part as I expected. I really suck at listening. Have to work on it.
I got sick again. I have to go to bed to rest. I don’t have enough focus to write a good blog post with cohesion. Therefore, I just spit out some paragraphs to empty my mind and then sleep. Or maybe study an English grammar book and then sleep.
I hate the people with a big head. The people who are full of themselves. The people who act like they’re already masters of their field, but in fact aren’t anthing special, at least at the moment. I’m like “Dude! Shut up and learn more. You know nothing. How dare you have such a confidence at this stage of your career?! You’re almost nothing.”
I still compare myself to others a lot. I don’t know how to stop it. It really bothers me, specially when I’m surrounded with these big headed people. I just have to concentrate on my own work and learn the basics of this field. I know after that I can do such big things to shut all of them up. But that happens only when I have enouch concentration on my own work and stop thinking about my situation compared to theirs. Oh God… I must turn off my brain’s comparison module. I wish I could. But what actually happens is that I’m always thinking what if I can’t earn the achievements as big as other people around me? What does it mean that that random dude is passing 40 credits in his first semester while I have only passed 24 credits in my first semester? What does it mean that the other dude say he’s going to finish his master’s in one year and I will finish it only in 2 years? I mean, it’s ridiculous because I never wanted to finish it in under 2 years. If I want, I can already finish it in 1.5 years. But the thought of someone finishing his master’s earlier than me annoys me. It’s just RIDICULOUS. Fuck you Majid. Stop comparing yourself to the others. Shut up and do your own work. Shut up and stop looking at them. Do your own work. Accept the fact that there might be some people better than you. Accept the fact that you’re NOT the best in every sense. Accept it and do your own FUCKING work. Focus on your work, and look at your surroundings without any judgement. Just accept it as is and try to get the most out of it.